is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
