at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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