His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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