This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
