How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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