Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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