They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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