Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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