the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
