He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
