in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
When are your genitals available?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
