her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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