I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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