Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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