you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
