He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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