yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
