My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
