I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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