Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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