its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
