So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
