dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Randomize
