i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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