dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
