I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
smell my finger.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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