ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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