Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
