someone get that fucking seahorse.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sext me about skeletons
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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