Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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