Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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