every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
