It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
