Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
