I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
