Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
