I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize