Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
