Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
