You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
