When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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