I hate your face
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
