I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
