whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
