I hate your face
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
