omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize