The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
