I wanna bring you to show and tell
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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