That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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