I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
