My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
