Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
