So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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