If you die in college, do you die in real life?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
