Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize