i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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