apparently the secret to your success is patron
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
