so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
