do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
