So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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