Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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