So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
