I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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