PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize