Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
