Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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