All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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