I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
