I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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