Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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