I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
