Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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