it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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