Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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